The Adventures of Housewife Perceptor
by Camfield
Summary: Shibara and Dellessa made me do it. Continuing adventures in the domestically minded Perceptor. Soundwave will never know what hit him. Rated Teen, may go up.
1. Chapter 1

Darn you Shibara! WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO WRITE THEM NOW! WHY!

She made me do it. .

Complete and unrepentant crack. Shield your eyes! More Housewife!Percy ahead!

* * *

Soundwave was lounging on the obscenely soft armchair in Perceptor's quarters when the scientist came back from the lab for the evening. The wars end was no need to halt progression, after all. There had been a shift of focus, and they'd kept going, barreling through problems with the combined force of an avalanche.

Which made Perceptor more tired, to be sure, but also more... enthusiastic in his attentions.

When the red mech walked through the door, bidding whomever he'd walked with goodbye, Soundwave reclined himself a little more, making sure to present his profile appropriately, tilting his helm back and retracting his mouthguard and visor for his customary greeting kiss only to have Perceptor stomp right past him and into the fueling area. Whipping his apron off its hook and tying it on with a perfectly symmetrical bow, turning to face Soundwave with his finger already pointed.

Preemptive strike. He needed a preemptive strike.

"Soundwave: Glad Perceptor is home. Attentions: Sorely missed."

There. There was no way Perceptor could turn that against him.

"So you're saying that you were just waiting for me to come home so you could have an interface? Is that what I'm hearing?"

How the frag-

"Because I refuse to be some interface toy! I'm a mech! With feelings, Soundwave, and needs just like any other Cybertronian! What if I just wanted to cuddle with you on the berth? Does everything have to be about interfacing with you?"

He stopped, wrapping one arm around his middle, the other coming up to cover his nasal ridge and mouth. Venting in heavily as if he was fighting back tears, and Soundwave sprung to his pedes, arms outstretched to catch ahold of Perceptor's arms.

"Soundwave: Didn't mean-"

His arms were shaken off, Perceptor going into full blown tears and wails. "I knew I shouldn't have let you interface me on the battlefield that one day! I see it now, I'm just a trophy! Something you can show off to your 'buddies'! Good for satisfying your needs and nothing more!"

Perceptor flopped down in a chair, face buried in his hands. Coolant dripping between his fingers and running down his arms onto the apron.

Soundwave just stood there, bewildered, for a klick before just dropping to one knee and putting an arm around the scientist, stroking his helm with the other. "Soundwave: Knows Perceptor isn't an interface toy. Soundwave: Would be happy to 'cuddle' as much as is wanted. Perceptor: Not some _trophy_ mech. Soundwave: Loves Perceptor."

Perceptor lifted his head from his hands, vents hiccupping, optics still half full of coolant. "Do you mean that?"

"Soundwave: Means every word."


	2. Chapter 2

Soundwave/Perceptor - Spring Cleaning  
Blame Dellessa and her prompt for this. XD

Housewife!Percy again. This is going to be a fucking trope by the time I'm done with it.

* * *

"You're tracking dirt in again."

Soundwave looked at Perceptor, then at his pede, then back at Perceptor. "Amount: Minimal."

Perceptor glared. "I don't care if it happens to be microscopic. You're tracking in DIRT. I don't like it in my lab, I don't like it here. It contaminates things. You. Washracks. Now."

A grumble, then Soundwave turned and walked towards their washracks. Flicking the water on as he heard the vacuum start up again. Perceptor was a bit to handle on a good day, but this... whoever had suggested spring cleaning for a fresh outlook on things was going to die. Slowly, painfully, and probably publicly. Because Soundwave REFUSED to do this every year. Would. Not. Happen.

"And you make sure that you wash INSIDE all those crevices you have! I don't want you to bend and shower me with organic matter!"

"Soundwave: Understands! Perceptor: Driving Soundwave crazy! Soundwave: Going OUT."

Suddenly Perceptor was there. Apron and all, in the water with him. Glaring at him with a suspicious optic. "Going out? Where? With who? You know I don't like you going out with Megatron. I don't CARE if the war is over. You stay away from him!"

"Soundwave: Will go out with whoever he pleases! Perceptor: Doesn't OWN Soundwave!"

"Mister! If you think for a KLICK that I'll stand back and let you _leave me_ the way you did before, you have another thing coming. I will kick your aft from here to Sol. Don't tempt me Soundwave, I have a Skyfire and I'm not afraid to use him!"

This was getting ridiculous. Soundwave had never before needed permission to go out, and he wasn't changing that now.

"Soundwave: Leaving. Will be back: Later tonight!"

He turned off the water, flash heating his body to evaporate the water between his armor plates, and stepped around Perceptor to move toward the door. Stopping short when a hand grabbed his wrist and turning to see his Autobot scientist with an energon blush and a downturned face.

"Don't."

Oh really? Don't. "Don't what."

"Don't leave me again. If you walk out that door... I'm done. I can't take it a second time."

Soundwave stopped himself from rolling his optics, but turned around and twisted Perceptor until they were back to front. Arms looped around him and holding tight, resting his helm against the black one and venting softly.

"Perceptor: Has nothing to fear. Soundwave: Will not make same mistake twice. Soundwave: Still not accepted completely by Autobots. Soundwave: Needs other companionship to keep up with information in Decepticon faction."

"Soundwave... I just... I don't want to be alone again. I don't! I know you need to see those cavemechs... I just don't want to find out one day that you've left me again."

"Decepticons: Not cavemechs. Decepticons: Different than Autobots."

Perceptor vented in. Turning in Soundwave's embrace to kiss him softly. "Yes yes. Alright. Go play "I'm the strongest of them all" with your metalheaded _friends._ Just you remember that I'm here."

The navy mech tightened his grip for a moment, kissing Perceptor back before letting go and moving away, back over to the door.

"Soundwave: Will be back later."

"I'm sure. I will make sure that the entire place is spotless, please take care to wash before you come back in. Who knows what you Decepticons play in."


End file.
